January 2011

If you have tried to read my journal in the past three years, post November 2008, you most have wondered if I fell off the face of the earth…. That would be an understandable reaction. Little cues Always Alexis Marie is still kickn’ would be our awesome new website (hope you all are enjoying) and the exhibitions and awards that have been such a great honor.

Truly, what has happened to us since 2008? Simple answer – life. Long answer:

We moved to New Zealand from Canada and traveled the stunning country, photographing its breathtaking landscape. We also met and befriended a lot of really amazing kiwis (the nickname for people from NZ), who we now miss greatly.

The powerfully beautiful Maori culture was opened up to us from my husband’s students at Edgewater College in Auckland. We now eagerly anticipate the next time we have the privilege of hearing the haka and sharing in the kiwi love of rugby and cricket.

And a lot of our time was also spent photographing for a few national NZ magazines, capturing everything from documentary, fashion and portrait imagery. The wedding seasons were also a crazy but fun time as we traversed the North Island photographing couples in love.

While in New Zealand I got pregnant with our first child – we were thrilled! It was at that time we decided to pack up life and head back to our homeland to be close to family. Another ocean crossing move but we survived. Our little baby girl was born shortly after. We resumed Always Alexis Marie adventures back in Edmonton, photographing weddings, portraits, and fine art images.

A few months after our little girl came into the world, I found out I was pregnant again! And again we were thrilled! Life kept going as normal, painting and taking photographs, raising our girl, ball tournaments through the summer months, a group exhibition at the Art Gallery of St. Albert and another show at the Jubilee Auditorium where I received an honor for one of my fine art photographs. We also brought home a few more awards and accolades of excellence from the WPPI and NZIPP (pro-photo associations). All the while my tummy was growing and growing.

Then one seemingly normal day everything changed into a warped reality that we will never fully leave behind. We received the news that our second child, who we had earlier discovered was a boy, was having troubles with his heart. Surrounded by a large tumor, our baby boy’s heart was failing. He was due to be born mid December 2010.

As desperate parents, we asked what we could do? After long days spent in the high risk clinic at the new Lois Hole Women’s hospital at the Royal Alex, we regrettably learnt the answer. Nothing. There was nothing we could do. The doctors told us our child would pass away inside of me and be a stillbirth.

Why us? Why our child? Where is the justice in the world? We were told that the preferred option for our son was termination. That was not an option in our mind. We felt termination was like giving up on our boy.

Thus I continued my pregnancy. We hoped for a miracle, praying for God to intervene. We did not want to take our son's life. We decided the most compassionate option for our boy (we named him Zachary) was to let nature take its course. We continued on for a month and a half – praying and sitting together in the room we had prepared for him.

By mid October our visits to the hospital revealed the worsening of my health and the growing risks for me if we continued on. After medical recommendations we were booked in for an induction the next day.

This was extremely difficult for me as I felt that agreeing to induction was like giving up on my boy and as a mother this was so hard to bear, a choice I did not want to make. We were hoping things would improve or that nature would take its course so that we did not have to choose to end Zachary's life.

As we sat down to rest that evening, the day before my induction, something began to happen. I began to have contractions! We were admitted to the hospital that night. Zachary's failing heart, squeezed and misshapen by the tumor, continued to beat through labor and delivery, ranging from 50 to over 200 beats per minute.

Despite the doctor’s predictions that if I did go into preterm labor Zachary's heart could not sustain him through delivery, he held on and was born alive! Such a blessing! He did not give up! He wanted to meet his parents! This was a miracle for us considering his condition. My husband and I both held him, skin to skin, where he made small movements and then passed away in my arms. He was alive and with us for about half an hour.

Zachary Jonathan Chute was born naturally without induction. He was born at 9:00 am on Thursday, October 14, 2010 and passed away at 9:32 am. He weighed 7 pounds 8 ounces and was 18 inches tall. He had his mother and sister's blue eyes, his father's chin, and golden blond hair.

Though his life was short, he is our much loved son. We are very thankful for how everything happened and feel that God was so graceful in how Zachary came into this world, in God's timing and way, not by the forcing of our hand. In such a terrible story, the best possible conclusions came about.

It will be a long road ahead of us as we continue to raise our daughter and look to the future as we deal with the death of our son. He will always be our baby boy, our second born, and will always hold a special place in our heart.

I share our story in the hopes that the grief of child loss will no longer be a taboo subject that makes people quiet with awkward feelings. I love my boy and want to talk about him and our experience. I am sure there are others out there like me.

I also want to raise awareness of the Walk to Remember foundation.

At the beginning of October 2010 we attended Edmonton's Walk to Remember. This yearly event "honors little lives lost" through such things as miscarriage, stillbirth or babies who pass away early in life. It was an extremely meaningful event which offered such amazing support for grieving families and the opportunity to remember and celebrate their little ones and their family.

At the walk they collected teddy bears that the hospitals give out to parents who have lost their child. It sounded like a nice idea at the time but we experienced such immense appreciation for the gift when it was given to us at Zachary’s passing. My heart was breaking as I was thinking about how I carried my boy Zachary within me for the past 30 weeks and how I would be leaving the hospital with empty arms. A tragedy.

We were given the teddy bear when Zachary died and took pictures with him and his bear, the only toy he would ever own. We held them close and I kissed Zachary's head with the bear's fabric nose. I did not leave the hospital with my son but I have kept the bear near since that time. I held it as I recovered in the hospital and it was in my arms as we left. Such a simple and inexpensive gesture has had a huge effect on my life.

We collected teddy bears at Zachary’s memorial service and contributed more from our little family. Over 100 bears and hundreds of dollars were donated in Zachary’s name. His life was so short but he has left a powerful and meaningful legacy.

Thus our small family has transitioned into 2011 with mixed emotions. Each day is filled with heart ache the grief workers tell us will never go away – but we must press on. We are back into the work that we love which does help. We are continuing to meet more and more amazing people by the day as we photograph round baby-filled bellies, children and the timeless marriage celebration.

As my grief counsellor tells me, this is my “new normal.” I don’t feel the same inside and likely never will. I miss my boy daily, missing him as if he will return to me somehow. I do often stop and ponder it all – and am thankful for so many things and so many people. You know who you are – thank you with everything that is in me.

So, like I said, what have we been up to? Life.

Thank you for reading mine and my family’s story. Now as silly as New Year’s resolutions may be, I do resolve to write again before another three years have passed! But now on to living!

Please check out Walk to remember: http://www.walktoremember.ca/

 

November 2008

 

Last month Aaron and I took a two week road trip around New Zealand. We spend a lot of time in the car as we drove around, soaking up the beautiful surroundings. I became an expert at taking pictures out of the car window as we drove. This is more challenging than you may believe. When driving at 100km per hour the landscape zips by pretty quickly. Freezing that motion is one of the tricks. The other hurdle is avoiding reflections of things inside the car, like the dashboard for instance. One of the sweatshirts I brought on the trip was white with a black and pink graphic print all over it. I would be looking out the window and think, ‘What the heck is that!?!?!’ – but it would often simply be the reflection of my sweater.

 

I also had to be quick with the camera if I saw something I liked. I would need to pull out the camera, correct the settings and get the shot before that small window of opportunity was gone. I feel pretty good about my speed at this, as photographing weddings for so long has kept me on my game. Challenges of photographing from a car aside, I captured some pictures that I truly love and hold very dear.

 

Kodak Gold Award

 

At the end of September I entered some of my favorite images into the Kodak Gold Award photographic competition. At the end of October I discovered that I have won a Silver Award! Here is some info about the Kodak Gold Awards:

 

The very high standard offered by New Zealand Professional Wedding and Portrait photographers enabled Kodak to introduce their Kodak Gold Awards programme to New Zealand in 1997.

 

The Kodak Gold Awards, an international programme, introduced in both Europe and USA, recognizes the highest level of creativity and quality in Professional Photography.

 

These awards reward excellence in imaging and are therefore a great help in assisting customers to select a suitably qualified Professional Photographer who can offer them that creative difference when capturing their special moment forever.

 

I have not yet received my images back – so I don’t even know which image I have won for! I do know it is in the Wedding Category. Once I find out I will include it for you to see. It is just such a privilege to receive such a great honor and to be recognized amongst the best in New Zealand. I am very thankful and feel so blessed.

 

Life School Makeover

 

About a month ago I began photographing for my church’s magazine called Life. My first issue with the magazine comes out this month I believe. It is really exciting as the magazine has taken off since it began about 5 issues ago. It is published quarterly and is given out at all 4 locations of the church to thousands of people – it’s a big church! The magazine can be found outside the walls of the church as well. Since moving here in January I seem to see the magazine everywhere - from doctor’s offices to waiting rooms at the mall!

 

I am covering a few big articles for this next issue. One of those is what the church calls the Life School Makeover. Every year Life church chooses an Auckland school in a lower economic area to give a makeover. As this is my first year at this church, I can only speak for what I saw this time. They made over Tamaki primary school by repaving sidewalks, repainting the exterior of the school, building a new park, giving the kids shade and a place to sit outside with blue canopies and benches, a huge sand box was constructed and trees were planted all around the school’s perimeter.

 

The last pictures I took on the busy building, painting and construction day was of the extremely grateful principal and her colleague in front of a new mural of colourful tiles given to the school by the church. The principal told me that the kids will be shocked when they come to school on Monday. I could tell she was at a loss for words.

 

I feel very thankful as a photographer that I get the privilege of photographing such amazing projects as this. So often people view churches as money grabbing organizations that are so inward focused that they never do any good for anyone. Well I am so proud that this is not the case with Life church. They truly give to the community and don’t ask for a thing in return. It is truly beautiful to see hundreds of people giving of their time and talents to help those around them.

 

Even though I was not getting my hands dirty painting or constructing, I feel I too was using my time and talents in a valuable way because I get to share the photographs with you who read this and with the magazine and church. I truly hope the photos encourage people to action and warm hearts as we think of all the happy children. 

 

Some other exciting news, Life magazine has interviewed Ankia van der Berg, the bridal wear designer whose collection I photographed back in March. The photographs I took will accompany the interview and gloss the pages of the magazine – the place they were meant for. I truly hope that sharing my fashion photography in this magazine will help expose my images to a larger audience and that many new doors will open.

 

I would like to extend a huge Thank-You to all the people who helped make the Bridal Fantasy photo shoot such a huge success. These people believed in a vision and helped see it come to pass. I totally recommend all their services and products and thank them as people as well and wish them all success in their lives as well as in their businesses.

 

Thank-You to:

- Ankia van der Berg of Golden Gown for sharing with the world her beautiful designs
            www.GoldenGown.co.nz
- Samala Robinson Academy for providing Hair and Make-up
            www.sramakeup.com
Specifically: Koreen Morrell, Susie Long, Nicki Collett, Angela Kirkwood, Amanda Savill
            www.amandasavill.com
            www.susielong.com
            www.nickiecollett.com
- Peter Jacobsen of Exclusive Suite Hire for the stylish men’s wear
            www.exclusivesuithire.co.nz
- Sawitree Jeromson of Sawaitree Jewelry
            www.sawitree.com
- Our fabulous models: Bryce Stickland, Jonathan Bacon, Mark Stickland, Rachel Roper, Erika Bond-Milne, Joanna Lynn, Kyla Hei Hei, Melissa Chandler, and Chanel Hargrave
- Nicola D’Almeida of Old MacDonalds Mobile Farm
            www.oldmacdonaldsfarm.co.nz
- Joy and Bruce from Twilight Vineyard
            www.twilightvineyards.co.nz
- Kathryn Bradley of Boudica Flowers Ltd.  For her unique floral creations
            www.boudica.co.nz
- Sandy Neil of All Souls Church
- Mark Chapman of St. Andrews Presbyterian Church
- Sally Lane & Family, Janet Roding & family, Elaine Balemi & family
- Shaun Holmes & Gert van der Berg for their amazing assistance throughout the day

 

Life is busy for me right now as new projects seem to pop up daily – but I am thankful for the new challenges, opportunities and people in my life. Life is a risk but you can also choose to play it safe. Living life to the fullest, putting yourself out there and being vulnerable with your heart, dreams and passion can be terrifying. I encourage you (as well as reminding myself) to fight the good fight, go the extra mile and believe in things unseen. Life is so rich, all we have to do is look a little deeper.

 

Many blessings and Love always,

Alexis Marie

 

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September 2008

 

September is a time of change. From my family and friends in Canada I hear about autumn, the red and yellow leaves and the cool breeze. For us in New Zealand everything is abloom and the days are growing longer and warmer. It is truly an inspiring time of year.

 

The last two weeks have been full of photography and beautiful experiences. On September 13th, I photographed the students of Edgewater College in their Culture and Fashion Extravaganza. I was completely unprepared for what I would encounter. There were seven groups of students that presented their cultural songs, dances, war chants, and celebrations – these groups included Maori, Nuiean, Thai, Tongan, Cook Islands, Samoan, and Indian. The talent and passion of these students blew me away! It was wonderful seeing their heritage and pride for who they are and where they come from.

 

The day after the Culture Extravaganza I photographed a Bridal Runway Presentation at The Wedding Show. I love fashion shows and it was fun to see the new designs for wedding wear for both men and women.

 

On September 21st, New Zealand Fashion Week came to a close. I was fortunate to spend the last day photographing the runway shows of Annah Stretton, Hailwood, Westfield St. Lukes, Lucie Boshier, Moa and the Designer Selection Show. Boy what an experience! The lights dim, the music starts pumping and one after the other, new fashions strut before your eyes. I was especially in love with the clothes from Moa! The most unique show by far was by Lucie Boshier. She had a large man in drag open the show singing ‘Life’s a Cabaret.’ Her models threw money out of their vibrantly coloured lingerie and posed with passion while two dancers lounged in the middle of the catwalk. It was captivating.

 

Inspiration – The Auckland Festival of Photography

 

At the end of June I had a visit from my sister Katie. Armed with a map of the city, we set out for a day to see as much of the Auckland Festival of Photography as we could. The festival had exhibitions at various galleries and studios all across the city. We navigated our way to over 6 dispersed locations.

 

I truly love fine art photography. I feel art photography is par with what is traditionally thought of as fine art, like painting and sculpture. Fine Art Photography has the power to engage its viewers and move them in some way, to have some response. (Not being affected by an artwork is a valid response as well.) I was so inspired by the different artists showing at the Festival of Photography. The photographic approaches were so distinctly unique – it is so beautiful to see what an individual set of eyes, looking through the camera, can create.

 

My sister Katie is not a big art and photography lover like I am. She was a great sport though as we gallery hopped our way around the city. There was one exhibit that struck a cord with her. A series of images by Megan Jenkinson, displayed at the Two Rooms gallery, showed small islands surrounded by water. These images were presented as lenticular prints with a holographic effect. By moving left or right of the image, the lonely islands floating in the water would fade, as if by a fog, then disappear. The images were so subtle and unconfrontational, so quiet on the large gallery wall. They seemed so small and innocent. Katie was in awe. That is the power of great art – to engage the apathetic and speak volumes beyond size. It was one of those moments that encourages artists, like myself, that what we labor over day by day actually does make a difference.

 

Destinations Magazine

 

Coming up in the middle of October is the release of the Spring Destinations magazine. This publication gives info to travelers (and those thinking of traveling) of where to go and what to do on their adventures or holiday. The Spring issue has a focus on Romance – which is where we come in. We have a little editorial about our Wedding Photography in the section showcasing, in their words, ‘the very best romantic products and services.’ It was exciting when they got in touch with us about this issue. Not everyone knows we offer destination Wedding Photography - so with this magazine we hope brides & grooms will think of us when they plan their special location wedding.

 

NZIPP & Awards

 

Since moving to New Zealand my husband/partner photographer and I have joined the New Zealand Institute of Professional Photography. A lot has happened for me in the last month within the organization…

 

In August I submitted images from a wedding I photographed to a panel of NZIPP judges. This is called the “Q” process. The panel critique the images and decide if they are up to professional standard and display a high level of creativity. If you pass, which I did, you become a “Qualified” member within the organization. Until the time you are qualified you cannot market yourself as an NZIPP photographer. Receiving my “Q” is the NZIPP stamp of approval for what I do.

 

This “Q” is a testament to my clients and those considering me as their photographer that I am a trustworthy professional with a recognized creative approach. For those who believe and trust in me, this qualification won’t make a difference – but for those who don’t know me and are unaware of my track record, this “Q” means a lot.

 

Also in August, the NZIPP Iris Awards took place. These awards are where photographers get to strut their creative stuff for the world to see. This international competition drew in thousands of images. I submitted ten photographs – and won ten awards! Here is the breakdown: 1 Silver Award in Weddings, 9 Bronze Awards, 3 in each of the following categories, Weddings, Creative and Landscape. Not only are these awards an awesome honor(!!) but because of my winnings I gained my Fellow of Photography status within the NZIPP. Here are some of the images for you to enjoy!

 

I truly am so thankful to be a part of the NZIPP! I have met a lot of great people and have learnt so much. It is one of those enriching parts of life that I wonder how I ever lived without. Thanks to all of you who have been so welcoming of Aaron and I when we joined! I count my blessings!

 

Thanks so much for reading this blog! I hope you enjoy my stories and can get to know the woman behind the camera just a little bit better.

 

Wishing you love always,

Alexis Marie

 

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March 2008

 

Hello from New Zealand! My husband and I recently shifted our home and office across the North and South Pacific Oceans from Canada to New Zealand. It has been a huge change, but as much of the landscape reminds us of Canada and the Kiwi people are so friendly, the transition has been graceful. The questions asked most frequently to us are “Why?” “Why the big move?” “Why New Zealand?” Our answers are not profound. We wanted to fully experience another culture, go to sleep under a different set of stars, and expand our horizons. Before children these things are much easier to do.

 

As a photographer and artist, I am so inspired by the new landscape and people I meet every day. It may be easy to feel that the culture of New Zealand is not far from that of Canada as we all generally speak the same language and have our roots in European conquest, but every day I learn something remarkably unique about these new people. I feel truly blessed to have this experience.

 

Here are some photographs of New Zealand. Even though the country is small, my husband and I still have much ground to cover. I will keep you posted with more photos as we have more adventures.

 

Check out our Events & Press section to get details about our upcoming wedding photography booths at three of the hottest New Zealand bridal expos!

 

Love always,

- Alexis Marie