January 2011

If you have tried to read my journal in the past three years, post November 2008, you most have wondered if I fell off the face of the earth…. That would be an understandable reaction. Little cues Always Alexis Marie is still kickn’ would be our awesome new website (hope you all are enjoying) and the exhibitions and awards that have been such a great honor.

Truly, what has happened to us since 2008? Simple answer – life. Long answer:

We moved to New Zealand from Canada and traveled the stunning country, photographing its breathtaking landscape. We also met and befriended a lot of really amazing kiwis (the nickname for people from NZ), who we now miss greatly.

The powerfully beautiful Maori culture was opened up to us from my husband’s students at Edgewater College in Auckland. We now eagerly anticipate the next time we have the privilege of hearing the haka and sharing in the kiwi love of rugby and cricket.

And a lot of our time was also spent photographing for a few national NZ magazines, capturing everything from documentary, fashion and portrait imagery. The wedding seasons were also a crazy but fun time as we traversed the North Island photographing couples in love.

While in New Zealand I got pregnant with our first child – we were thrilled! It was at that time we decided to pack up life and head back to our homeland to be close to family. Another ocean crossing move but we survived. Our little baby girl was born shortly after. We resumed Always Alexis Marie adventures back in Edmonton, photographing weddings, portraits, and fine art images.

A few months after our little girl came into the world, I found out I was pregnant again! And again we were thrilled! Life kept going as normal, painting and taking photographs, raising our girl, ball tournaments through the summer months, a group exhibition at the Art Gallery of St. Albert and another show at the Jubilee Auditorium where I received an honor for one of my fine art photographs. We also brought home a few more awards and accolades of excellence from the WPPI and NZIPP (pro-photo associations). All the while my tummy was growing and growing.

Then one seemingly normal day everything changed into a warped reality that we will never fully leave behind. We received the news that our second child, who we had earlier discovered was a boy, was having troubles with his heart. Surrounded by a large tumor, our baby boy’s heart was failing. He was due to be born mid December 2010.

As desperate parents, we asked what we could do? After long days spent in the high risk clinic at the new Lois Hole Women’s hospital at the Royal Alex, we regrettably learnt the answer. Nothing. There was nothing we could do. The doctors told us our child would pass away inside of me and be a stillbirth.

Why us? Why our child? Where is the justice in the world? We were told that the preferred option for our son was termination. That was not an option in our mind. We felt termination was like giving up on our boy.

Thus I continued my pregnancy. We hoped for a miracle, praying for God to intervene. We did not want to take our son's life. We decided the most compassionate option for our boy (we named him Zachary) was to let nature take its course. We continued on for a month and a half – praying and sitting together in the room we had prepared for him.

By mid October our visits to the hospital revealed the worsening of my health and the growing risks for me if we continued on. After medical recommendations we were booked in for an induction the next day.

This was extremely difficult for me as I felt that agreeing to induction was like giving up on my boy and as a mother this was so hard to bear, a choice I did not want to make. We were hoping things would improve or that nature would take its course so that we did not have to choose to end Zachary's life.

As we sat down to rest that evening, the day before my induction, something began to happen. I began to have contractions! We were admitted to the hospital that night. Zachary's failing heart, squeezed and misshapen by the tumor, continued to beat through labor and delivery, ranging from 50 to over 200 beats per minute.

Despite the doctor’s predictions that if I did go into preterm labor Zachary's heart could not sustain him through delivery, he held on and was born alive! Such a blessing! He did not give up! He wanted to meet his parents! This was a miracle for us considering his condition. My husband and I both held him, skin to skin, where he made small movements and then passed away in my arms. He was alive and with us for about half an hour.

Zachary Jonathan Chute was born naturally without induction. He was born at 9:00 am on Thursday, October 14, 2010 and passed away at 9:32 am. He weighed 7 pounds 8 ounces and was 18 inches tall. He had his mother and sister's blue eyes, his father's chin, and golden blond hair.

Though his life was short, he is our much loved son. We are very thankful for how everything happened and feel that God was so graceful in how Zachary came into this world, in God's timing and way, not by the forcing of our hand. In such a terrible story, the best possible conclusions came about.

It will be a long road ahead of us as we continue to raise our daughter and look to the future as we deal with the death of our son. He will always be our baby boy, our second born, and will always hold a special place in our heart.

I share our story in the hopes that the grief of child loss will no longer be a taboo subject that makes people quiet with awkward feelings. I love my boy and want to talk about him and our experience. I am sure there are others out there like me.

I also want to raise awareness of the Walk to Remember foundation.

At the beginning of October 2010 we attended Edmonton's Walk to Remember. This yearly event "honors little lives lost" through such things as miscarriage, stillbirth or babies who pass away early in life. It was an extremely meaningful event which offered such amazing support for grieving families and the opportunity to remember and celebrate their little ones and their family.

At the walk they collected teddy bears that the hospitals give out to parents who have lost their child. It sounded like a nice idea at the time but we experienced such immense appreciation for the gift when it was given to us at Zachary’s passing. My heart was breaking as I was thinking about how I carried my boy Zachary within me for the past 30 weeks and how I would be leaving the hospital with empty arms. A tragedy.

We were given the teddy bear when Zachary died and took pictures with him and his bear, the only toy he would ever own. We held them close and I kissed Zachary's head with the bear's fabric nose. I did not leave the hospital with my son but I have kept the bear near since that time. I held it as I recovered in the hospital and it was in my arms as we left. Such a simple and inexpensive gesture has had a huge effect on my life.

We collected teddy bears at Zachary’s memorial service and contributed more from our little family. Over 100 bears and hundreds of dollars were donated in Zachary’s name. His life was so short but he has left a powerful and meaningful legacy.

Thus our small family has transitioned into 2011 with mixed emotions. Each day is filled with heart ache the grief workers tell us will never go away – but we must press on. We are back into the work that we love which does help. We are continuing to meet more and more amazing people by the day as we photograph round baby-filled bellies, children and the timeless marriage celebration.

As my grief counsellor tells me, this is my “new normal.” I don’t feel the same inside and likely never will. I miss my boy daily, missing him as if he will return to me somehow. I do often stop and ponder it all – and am thankful for so many things and so many people. You know who you are – thank you with everything that is in me.

So, like I said, what have we been up to? Life.

Thank you for reading mine and my family’s story. Now as silly as New Year’s resolutions may be, I do resolve to write again before another three years have passed! But now on to living!

Please check out Walk to remember: http://www.walktoremember.ca/

 

November 2008

 

Our New Zealand wedding season has begun! We are off to the races!! We have had a little breather since the Canadian wedding season but are right back in it again with our Kiwi clients. The weather is getting warmer, the days are longer and excited brides and grooms to be are tieing up the loose ends of their wedding planning.

 

In perfect timing, with the release of the latest Destination travel magazine, a special Romance feature in the magazine has also arrived on the scene. Cuddled within the advice on where to travel, what to see and where to stay, this new section, called “Truly, Madly, Deeply” gives tips for couples planning destination engagements, weddings and honeymoons. As only one company from every category was included, we are happy to say we are the wedding photographers they have showcased!

 

Bride & Groom Show & The Wedding Show

 

To fully prove we are suckers for long days on our feet and large groups of people, we will once again be greeting Brides and Grooms to be at two fabulous expos in 2009. Both shows will be taking place in Auckland at the end of April on back to back weekends. If you are getting married be sure to come and visit us and gain a wealth of info to help you plan your special day! See our Events section of the Always Alexis Marie website to get more info on the what and where and other helpful details.

 

Bridal Fantasy in Life Magazine

 

Back in March I photographed a bridal wear fashion shoot for designer Ankia van der Berg. Coming out in the next issue of Auckland’s Life magazine is an interview with van der Berg accompanied by the photos I like to call Bridal Fantasy. I am so excited about this! I can’t wait to share these images with the world. The whole project was a huge undertaking but the images have reaped the benefit.

 

I would like to sincerely thank all those individuals and companies who helped make Bridal Fantasy not only possible but a huge success! Thank-You so much to:

 

- Ankia van der Berg of Golden Gown for sharing with the world her beautiful designs
            www.GoldenGown.co.nz
- Samala Robinson Academy for providing Hair and Make-up
            www.sramakeup.com
Specifically: Koreen Morrell, Susie Long, Nicki Collett, Angela Kirkwood, Amanda Savill
            www.amandasavill.com
            www.susielong.com
            www.nickiecollett.com
- Peter Jacobsen of Exclusive Suite Hire for the stylish men’s wear
            www.exclusivesuithire.co.nz
- Sawitree Jeromson of Sawaitree Jewelry
            www.sawitree.com
- Our fabulous models: Bryce Stickland, Jonathan Bacon, Mark Stickland, Rachel Roper, Erika Bond-Milne, Joanna Lynn, Kyla Hei Hei, Melissa Chandler, and Chanel Hargrave
- Nicola D’Almeida of Old MacDonalds Mobile Farm
            www.oldmacdonaldsfarm.co.nz
- Joy and Bruce from Twilight Vineyard
            www.twilightvineyards.co.nz
- Kathryn Bradley of Boudica Flowers Ltd.  For her unique floral creations
            www.boudica.co.nz
- Sandy Neil of All Souls Church
- Mark Chapman of St. Andrews Presbyterian Church
- Sally Lane & Family, Janet Roding & family, Elaine Balemi & family
- Shaun Holmes & Gert van der Berg for their amazing assistance throughout the day

 

Kodak Gold Award

 

At the end of September I entered some of my favorite images into the Kodak Gold Award photographic competition. At the end of October I discovered that I have won a Silver Award! Here is some info about the Kodak Gold Awards: The very high standard offered by New Zealand Professional Wedding and Portrait photographers enabled Kodak to introduce their Kodak Gold Awards programme to New Zealand in 1997.

 

The Kodak Gold Awards, an international programme, introduced in both Europe and USA, recognizes the highest level of creativity and quality in Professional Photography.
          
These awards reward excellence in imaging and are therefore a great help in assisting customers to select a suitably qualified Professional Photographer who can offer them that creative difference when capturing their special moment forever.

 

I have not yet received my images back – so I don’t even know which image I have won for! I do know it is in the Wedding Category. Once I find out I will include it for you to enjoy. It is just such a privilage to receive such a great honor and to be recognized amongst the best in New Zealand. I am very thankful and feel so blessed.

 

Thanks for reading!

Love always,

Alexis Marie

 

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September 2008

 

It is moments like this, sitting down to write, where I truly slow to reflect on all the amazing blessings, opportunities, people and creations in my life and work. It is so important to have moments like this - to really take the time to appreciate the good things. Focusing on the positive has a miraculous effect on my life – and hopefully yours as well. It makes all the less wonderful areas of life seem just a little bit more bearable or even achievable!

 

Starting fresh in New Zealand has been challenging for sure! I often have doors closed in my face, but then I mourn the loss and move on – and often move on to something even better. My mom has a saying, ‘no matter what happens, it will work out for the best.’ It sounds like one of those old sayings that make no sense, but it works for me. I truly do believe things happen for a reason…

 

… It’s like drilling for oil. You may drill and drill and drill and never find a drop – but maybe you just need to dig one inch deeper. Just one inch. Or dig down a foot to your right. This is what I try to remember in my life and I encourage you to do the same. Never give up on your dreams, preserver and have hope.

 

Bridal Expos

 

In my last blog entry I wrote about the three wedding expo’s that we had upcoming. Well I am happy to report that all three were a fantastic success! Despite the pain of standing in heals for hours on end and the packing and un packing of our booth (and dangerous transport of it all in our car), we had a great time. So many interesting couples crossed our path.

 

When a bride & groom’s aesthetic matches with ours, the effect is obvious. They would walk into our booth with wide eyes and I could tell they were dreaming of their own wedding and how creative and beautiful it really could be. We were busy meeting with couples after the expos and found a lot of really great matches. It’s sufficient to say, we are very busy in the upcoming wedding season!

 

 

We have some good news! Two news items actually.

 

News Item - Destinations Magazine

 

We are going to be featured in the next issue of Destinations Magazine! The magazine’s catch phrase is “For People Going Places.” It is a travel adventure mag that provides details on where to go, stay, eat, and what to do on your adventures. The magazine is published in New Zealand and Australia and is also distributed on Air New Zealand flights! The Spring 2008 issue has a special feature on Romance aimed to help those planning a destination engagement, wedding or honeymoon.

 

Pick up a copy of Destinations magazine, on sale October 13th to read our article. Did you know we offer destination photography? Well we do!! Get in touch for more details! We provide value filled packages that will truly capture your adventure and magical moments in stunning images that you will cherish (and have a blast in creating).

 

News Item – NZIPP IRIS AWARDS & Qualification

 

We were back in Canada in August for a wedding when we heard the good news... I had submitted ten images at the New Zealand Institute of Professional Photography’s annual Iris Award competition. The good news - I won an award for all ten images! Here’s the tally: 1 Silver Award in Weddings and 9 Bronze Awards, three in each of the following categories, Weddings, Creative and Landscape. Based on my wins I gained the title of Fellow of Photography within the NZIPP. This title can take up to 4 years for some photographers to achieve – and I received it in less than 8 months of membership!

 

My husband Aaron and I are both members of the NZIPP. It is one of the organizations that sets the standard for professionals photographers in New Zealand. I also recently became a Qualified member of the organization. This means that a panel of judges have reviewed the images from one of the weddings I have photographed, analyzed it and deemed me worthy to carry the NZIPP logo – a sacred thing.

 

These awards and NZIPP qualifications come together to demonstrate to our clients (and future clients) the high professionalism and creativity that we provide. It gives our clients peace of mind knowing they can trust us for their big day and that we will give them photographs that are of an exceptionally high caliber. At the end of the day we are so thankful for these recognitions as they are a testament to our passion for truly amazing wedding photography. 

 

Thanks so much for reading! Remember to stay positive and reflect on the good things in life!

 

Always in love and always with love,

Alexis Marie