January 2011
If you have tried to read my journal in the past three years, post November 2008, you most have wondered if I fell off the face of the earth…. That would be an understandable reaction. Little cues Always Alexis Marie is still kickn’ would be our awesome new website (hope you all are enjoying) and the exhibitions and awards that have been such a great honor.
Truly, what has happened to us since 2008? Simple answer – life. Long answer:
We moved to New Zealand from Canada and traveled the stunning country, photographing its breathtaking landscape. We also met and befriended a lot of really amazing kiwis (the nickname for people from NZ), who we now miss greatly.
The powerfully beautiful Maori culture was opened up to us from my husband’s students at Edgewater College in Auckland. We now eagerly anticipate the next time we have the privilege of hearing the haka and sharing in the kiwi love of rugby and cricket.
And a lot of our time was also spent photographing for a few national NZ magazines, capturing everything from documentary, fashion and portrait imagery. The wedding seasons were also a crazy but fun time as we traversed the North Island photographing couples in love.
While in New Zealand I got pregnant with our first child – we were thrilled! It was at that time we decided to pack up life and head back to our homeland to be close to family. Another ocean crossing move but we survived. Our little baby girl was born shortly after. We resumed Always Alexis Marie adventures back in Edmonton, photographing weddings, portraits, and fine art images.
A few months after our little girl came into the world, I found out I was pregnant again! And again we were thrilled! Life kept going as normal, painting and taking photographs, raising our girl, ball tournaments through the summer months, a group exhibition at the Art Gallery of St. Albert and another show at the Jubilee Auditorium where I received an honor for one of my fine art photographs. We also brought home a few more awards and accolades of excellence from the WPPI and NZIPP (pro-photo associations). All the while my tummy was growing and growing.
Then one seemingly normal day everything changed into a warped reality that we will never fully leave behind. We received the news that our second child, who we had earlier discovered was a boy, was having troubles with his heart. Surrounded by a large tumor, our baby boy’s heart was failing. He was due to be born mid December 2010.
As desperate parents, we asked what we could do? After long days spent in the high risk clinic at the new Lois Hole Women’s hospital at the Royal Alex, we regrettably learnt the answer. Nothing. There was nothing we could do. The doctors told us our child would pass away inside of me and be a stillbirth.
Why us? Why our child? Where is the justice in the world? We were told that the preferred option for our son was termination. That was not an option in our mind. We felt termination was like giving up on our boy.
Thus I continued my pregnancy. We hoped for a miracle, praying for God to intervene. We did not want to take our son's life. We decided the most compassionate option for our boy (we named him Zachary) was to let nature take its course. We continued on for a month and a half – praying and sitting together in the room we had prepared for him.
By mid October our visits to the hospital revealed the worsening of my health and the growing risks for me if we continued on. After medical recommendations we were booked in for an induction the next day.
This was extremely difficult for me as I felt that agreeing to induction was like giving up on my boy and as a mother this was so hard to bear, a choice I did not want to make. We were hoping things would improve or that nature would take its course so that we did not have to choose to end Zachary's life.
As we sat down to rest that evening, the day before my induction, something began to happen. I began to have contractions! We were admitted to the hospital that night. Zachary's failing heart, squeezed and misshapen by the tumor, continued to beat through labor and delivery, ranging from 50 to over 200 beats per minute.
Despite the doctor’s predictions that if I did go into preterm labor Zachary's heart could not sustain him through delivery, he held on and was born alive! Such a blessing! He did not give up! He wanted to meet his parents! This was a miracle for us considering his condition. My husband and I both held him, skin to skin, where he made small movements and then passed away in my arms. He was alive and with us for about half an hour.
Zachary Jonathan Chute was born naturally without induction. He was born at 9:00 am on Thursday, October 14, 2010 and passed away at 9:32 am. He weighed 7 pounds 8 ounces and was 18 inches tall. He had his mother and sister's blue eyes, his father's chin, and golden blond hair.
Though his life was short, he is our much loved son. We are very thankful for how everything happened and feel that God was so graceful in how Zachary came into this world, in God's timing and way, not by the forcing of our hand. In such a terrible story, the best possible conclusions came about.
It will be a long road ahead of us as we continue to raise our daughter and look to the future as we deal with the death of our son. He will always be our baby boy, our second born, and will always hold a special place in our heart.
I share our story in the hopes that the grief of child loss will no longer be a taboo subject that makes people quiet with awkward feelings. I love my boy and want to talk about him and our experience. I am sure there are others out there like me.
I also want to raise awareness of the Walk to Remember foundation.
At the beginning of October 2010 we attended Edmonton's Walk to Remember. This yearly event "honors little lives lost" through such things as miscarriage, stillbirth or babies who pass away early in life. It was an extremely meaningful event which offered such amazing support for grieving families and the opportunity to remember and celebrate their little ones and their family.
At the walk they collected teddy bears that the hospitals give out to parents who have lost their child. It sounded like a nice idea at the time but we experienced such immense appreciation for the gift when it was given to us at Zachary’s passing. My heart was breaking as I was thinking about how I carried my boy Zachary within me for the past 30 weeks and how I would be leaving the hospital with empty arms. A tragedy.
We were given the teddy bear when Zachary died and took pictures with him and his bear, the only toy he would ever own. We held them close and I kissed Zachary's head with the bear's fabric nose. I did not leave the hospital with my son but I have kept the bear near since that time. I held it as I recovered in the hospital and it was in my arms as we left. Such a simple and inexpensive gesture has had a huge effect on my life.
We collected teddy bears at Zachary’s memorial service and contributed more from our little family. Over 100 bears and hundreds of dollars were donated in Zachary’s name. His life was so short but he has left a powerful and meaningful legacy.
Thus our small family has transitioned into 2011 with mixed emotions. Each day is filled with heart ache the grief workers tell us will never go away – but we must press on. We are back into the work that we love which does help. We are continuing to meet more and more amazing people by the day as we photograph round baby-filled bellies, children and the timeless marriage celebration.
As my grief counsellor tells me, this is my “new normal.” I don’t feel the same inside and likely never will. I miss my boy daily, missing him as if he will return to me somehow. I do often stop and ponder it all – and am thankful for so many things and so many people. You know who you are – thank you with everything that is in me.
So, like I said, what have we been up to? Life.
Thank you for reading mine and my family’s story. Now as silly as New Year’s resolutions may be, I do resolve to write again before another three years have passed! But now on to living!
Please check out Walk to remember: http://www.walktoremember.ca/
November 2008
Boy, does the time just fly right by! Aaron and I have been in New Zealand for 10 months now. It seems like no time at all as we have been so busy with work and life and new friends and adventures. It also seems like we have done so much in this time that I really wonder how it all happened! I can’t complain – we have made some truly wonderful friends, met some amazing people and have begun to work on some fabulous projects (including photographing the weddings of MANY truly stunning couples). Life is good!
Bridal Fantasy Images in Auckland’s Life Magazine
Coming out soon, the next issue of Life magazine will feature an interview of bridal wear designer Ankia van der Berg along with the images I took for her back in March. This is really exciting as it is my first big fashion spread! The images will grace 4 glossy pages of the quarterly magazine and hopefully grab the attention of the readers with my quirky and surreal approach to bridal wear. Magazines are tough to break into as a young photographer. I truly hope and pray that this fashion spread will fall into the right hands and will open doors for me to help achieve my dreams. I will keep you posted on this!
Kodak Gold Award
The Kodak Gold Awards recognizes outstanding creative imagery by Professional Wedding and Portrait Photographers. It was my first time submitting to this competition, but despite all my nervous butterflies, I have won a Silver Award! This is a great distinction to be recognized amongst the best in New Zealand. The honor is great and I am so thankful! I know that my winning image is in the Wedding category, but since I have not yet received my prints back, that’s about all I know! I will post the image for you to enjoy soon!
The Arrival of Destinations Magazine
So our eagerly anticipated article in Destinations travel magazine is finally out in the world as the magazine hit the news stands at the end of October. Our mail man, to my perpetual frustration, folds all my subscription magazines in half in order to contort them into our small mail box – thus, I must go and pick up a fresh magazine for myself.
The cover of this issue of Destinations shows a very striking photograph of a young man with a green scarf and the tones are simply captivating. Our article is in the Section called: “Truly, Madly, Deeply”. You can find us on page 107 of this Romance feature. One of our photos is also included in the Contents on page 6.
Thanks for reading!! For all you Canadians, I hope you are enjoying the beautiful change from autumn to winter. To all my Kiwi readers, lets celebrate that summer is on its way! To everyone else in the world, many prayers for appreciation of whatever season you may find yourself in.
Love always,
Alexis Marie
----------------------------------------------------------------
October 2008
For two weeks in October Aaron and I traveled around the South Island of New Zealand. We had a great time doing a little bit of touristy things but mainly soaking in the beautifully diverse landscape.
Wearable World of Art
The Wearable World of Art (WOW) had their annual competition and fashion show at the end of September/beginning of October this year. My husband and I happened to be down in Wellington on our travels during the show schedule but due to our ferry tickets to the south island were not able to attend any of the shows. I was choked but promised to myself that I would not miss it next year. My disappointment was lessened as we visited the WOW gallery in Nelson.
For those of you who are not from New Zealand – the country has two main island bodies, the North and South Islands. We live in Auckland which is about two thirds of the way up the north island. Wellington (where the WOW shows took place) is at the bottom tip of the north island. Aaron and I took the ferry from Wellington, traveling 3-hours to Picton at the top of the south island. Nelson, where the WOW gallery is located is also at the top of the south island. On our trip we drove around the entire perimeter of the south island, down the east side to the southernmost places around Bluff and then back up the western side, up to Nelson and then back to Picton to catch the ferry once again.
Back to the story: The WOW gallery was truly inspirational! We entered and found mannequins clad in some of the most outrageous outfits we have ever seen. There was even a mock fashion show as around 15 mannequins spun around on a track seeming to parade in front of us. Some of my favorite designs where the outfits that were striking in their design not just shocking for the material used. Some of my favorites included a sculptural dress of gold zippers, a kimono of corrugated and painted metal, and a bra made of giant stilettos.
The gallery also had a small theater where we watched the highlights from past WOW shows. They have different categories people can enter their creations into, including avant-garde, pacifica, kids category, etc. It was really great to see the inventiveness of so many different people all brought together. It was a very inspiring place to be. I was especially entranced as I have a great interest in this sort of creative expression. In my final year of my Bachelor of Fine Arts at university I explored using unconventional materials to create fashion and fashion inspired artwork.
Love always,
Alexis Marie
----------------------------------------------------------------
September 2008
Since moving to New Zealand this past January, I have definitely discovered the fashion able side to this country. I attended some seminars back in May on happening Queen Street in the busy CBD. On my lunch breaks I would walk up and down the street window-shopping. One shop down at the viaduct harbor really caught my eye. It was the NZ designer Trelise Cooper’s store. Her designs are striking and rich yet elegant and understated. There are many, many Kiwi designers I have simply fallen for! In observing our friends here and our many clients, I believe it is fair to say that New Zealanders are a very fashionable group of people.
Air New Zealand Fashion Week
This month I truly got to appreciate the inventiveness and creativity of the Kiwi designers as I attended New Zealand Fashion Week. The runway shows were such a treat and some designers really put on a show. Lucie Boshier in particular had a strong cabaret theme to her show with a man in drag opening the show with a song and dance. Boshier’s models practically skipped down the runway and really brought out the youthful and sexy mantra of the line.
While at New Zealand Fashion week I had the privilege of chatting with the designer Annah Stretton as well as Caroline Mar of Carpenters Daughter. Both women are so dynamic and beautiful! It truly was a treat.
Caroline Mar was so great to talk with as she was so open and down to earth. On the Fashion Weekend she spoke about how her faith in God is so important to her and plays into the name of her clothing – as she is the daughter of a carpenter but Jesus is also a carpenter in the bible and she is a child of God. Caroline Mar’s collections for Carpenters Daughter are designs for women with fuller figures. She had a hard time finding fashionable clothing for herself when she was younger so has set out over the last 10+ years to create stylish clothing for this market.
I am definitely being inspired both in my fashion photography and fashion design by this trendy culture I find myself within. Without giving away too much, the wheels are turning in my head for many new projects on the horizon.
Bridal Fantasy Fashion Photo shoot
One project that I underwent at the end of March this year was a large scale Bridal wear photo shoot for up and coming South African designer Ankia van der Berg. Not only was I the photographer but also the art director as well. The project was massive. We had 3 male models and 6 female models, three of the girls being top award winners in the beauty pageant circuit.
I really wanted to step out of an expected and traditional way of presenting bridal wear with this photo shoot and tell a larger story within the images. The theme of the shoot was Bridal Fantasy – Surrealism in Clevedon. Based on a few tips and contacts from Ankia, I scouted out the tiny community of Clevedon and found an abundance of small town charm and warmth – not to mention very unique locations. Overall we had over 11 scenes that we created combining the stunning locations, crazy props, wild hair and make-up and even live animals.
I want to extend a huge thank you to everyone who was involved. Thank you so much to the following people and companies who were fabulously helpful and wonderfully supportive for this large-scale project. I could not have done it without you. A warm and heartfelt thank you to you:
- Ankia van der Berg of Golden Gown for sharing with the world her beautiful designs
www.GoldenGown.co.nz
- Samala Robinson Academy for providing Hair and Make-up
www.sramakeup.com
Specifically: Koreen Morrell, Susie Long, Nicki Collett, Angela Kirkwood, Amanda Savill
www.amandasavill.com
www.susielong.com
www.nickiecollett.com
- Peter Jacobsen of Exclusive Suite Hire for the stylish men’s wear
www.exclusivesuithire.co.nz
- Sawitree Jeromson of Sawaitree Jewelry
www.sawitree.com
- Our fabulous models: Bryce Stickland, Jonathan Bacon, Mark Stickland, Rachel Roper, Erika Bond-Milne, Joanna Lynn, Kyla Hei Hei, Melissa Chandler, and Chanel Hargrave
- Nicola D’Almeida of Old MacDonalds Mobile Farm
www.oldmacdonaldsfarm.co.nz
- Joy and Bruce from Twilight Vineyard
www.twilightvineyards.co.nz
- Kathryn Bradley of Boudica Flowers Ltd. For her unique floral creations
www.boudica.co.nz
- Sandy Neil of All Souls Church
- Mark Chapman of St. Andrews Presbyterian Church
- Sally Lane & Family, Janet Roding & family, Elaine Balemi & family
- Shaun Holmes & Gert van der Berg for their amazing assistance throughout the day
Thank you so much to you all!! The photo shoot was truly an adventure and I am so grateful for everyone who came along for the ride!
Destinations Magazine
We have an exciting editorial coming out on us soon in Destinations Magazine. The magazine focuses on travel but in a new exclusive feature they are displaying wedding services for couples planning destination engagements, weddings and honeymoons. This is where we come in. They got in touch with us about our luxury (and of course very fashion forward) Wedding Photography. They chose one company to be featured for each category, for example, flowers, cake, venue, etc. We were chosen for our photography. The magazine comes out at the end of October. We’ll keep you posted!
Ten-time Winner at the New Zealand Iris Awards
More exciting news on the radar is our ten awards won at this years NZIPP Iris Awards. This is an international photography competition where photographers can submit up to 10 images for judging in a wide range of categories. I submitted ten photographs and was privileged to win for each one. I received 1-Silver Award and 9-Bronze Awards.
Thank you so much for reading this blog!
Love always,
Alexis Marie
